A Lifestyle of Learning

The idea of a standardised, national curriculum is not new. The ‘back-to-basics’ educational movement of the 80’s tried to identify and implement a body of knowledge that would be universally relevant. The National Curriculum was introduced into UK primary schools in 1989, and implementation across the primary and secondary phases continued into the mid 1990’s. The intention was good: it was established to ensure consistent standards of teaching and learning across the country, to ensure that all children were receiving an adequate education. The problem lay in the foundational premise, that it was possible to design one curriculum for everyone. One-size-fits-all doesn't really work anywhere, not even in such unimportant things as socks and gloves.  A one-size-fits-all curriculum doesn't work. We all know this. But schools are still trying to identify and implement this idea, often with enormous difficulty. And the children who cannot cope with the curriculum, for whatever reason, are paying the price.

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Meanwhile life happens all around us, and people learn. My children showed that this was true – they were full of interest, enthusiasm and joy. It didn’t take long to see how  formalized education got in the way of natural learning. The child’s attention, once forcibly focused on that which did not interest him, could rather obviously not remain focused on what was of interest to him. And with time, he could lose sight of what it was that he found interesting, becoming increasingly passive and bored. So how could we identify interest and be sensitive to it and support our child’s explorations and investigations alongside things they really did need to know? How could we ensure that things we wanted them to know were learned? As time went on we were reassured to see that the things we considered important – if they were truly important - were discovered and learned just as naturally and spontaneously as other things. Children are curious creatures, and if that curiosity is protected as they grow up, it will guide them into exploration of all these important elements of their culture, environment and society. As facilitators in their lives, we get to lay a trail as it were, exposing them to opportunities to learn and discover.

When Craig and I resolved to unschool our children, we did so because we had become convinced of learning as a lifestyle, something that was natural, spontaneous, and ongoing, something that did not depend on teaching and outside intervention. But what exactly was a ‘learning lifestyle’? Were there things we could do to make sure it was happening? Were there things we could do that would facilitate and enhance it? And, horrid thought, could we hinder and even block it? Could we make our children so passive that they would become immune to its charms? We came to certain conclusions, and, as usual, some rather helpful questions arose out of those conclusions.

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• We saw that the learning lifestyle is unique and specific to each person and to each family. This is an obvious point when one thinks about it. Learning has to incorporate fresh and living thought. It can’t be copied. Like the elusive state of being that we call ‘happiness’, it can’t be confined or boxed or bought. One knows when it is there, and one knows when one has lost it. This is why a rigidly applied external curriculum can’t lead to life. Life comes from living ideas. When you try to take life and strip it down to a few essentials, you lose its essence. Fascinating though it might be to look at an image of a thing, it is still not the same as engaging with the real thing.

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• A learning lifestyle is dynamic. Its focus changes from day to day, week to week, year to year. Today’s priorities will not be tomorrow’s. It has life and energy of its own. We were challenged to be flexible and responsive to our world. So what then were the characteristics of our particular family? Who were we? What did we like to do? And each child? Who was this child? What was their unique place in our family and how did family life affect them? What were our goals, dreams, objectives as a family? How were we changing from year to year, month to month? Could we be as flexible and adaptable as we needed to be to avoid stagnation?

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• A learning lifestyle is centred in the real environment of the learner. It is not a specially prepared environment. It is family and community based. When you determine to live a learning lifestyle, you facilitate the opening up of your children’s lives to their world and the opening up of the world to their lives. So what was in our environment and surroundings? What could we learn today? We were challenged to open our eyes and SEE. It is very easy to see oneself as limited; one’s life as restricted. To say ‘If only we had such and such, then we could learn....’ But a good question to ask was: “What do we have in our hand right now?” Limitations are real but they do not have to be hindrances. You may think you are limited because you have limited resources, little money, no space, no education, no qualifications. Too many children, too few children. But learning happens – everywhere, anywhere. We learned never to underestimate what we had. Out of this came a strong desire to encourage others to trust in the nature of learning, even when there did not appear to be much in the way of resource.

There were some things we realised were really important for parents if they were to succeed as protectors and facilitators of our children’s learning:

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• First, ask questions! Leendert Van Oostrum of the Pestalozzi Trust, a legal defence fund for South African home educators used to say that the most important question for home educators was “Why?” Why should we do this or why should we do that? Why do we need to fulfil these requirements? Don't just follow what others are doing. Who are your children and what is important to them? Who are you and what is important to you? Does the requirement or objective fit with your identity and purpose? If not, why should you/your children do it? Is there a way of avoiding it? (There may of course be external reasons that are unavoidable, eg education law in your country).

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• Live mindfully. There is not a whole lot of time. Find things that you can do together. Share your lives. Why else have you been given this strong sweet season? You might think that it will be like this forever. But it won’t. What seems like such a long time is actually so short. Within a short space of time your children will be parents themselves. Don’t waste these precious years. Set a goal to live your unique learning lifestyle and realize it in some way, however small, each day.

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• Figure out how you can best learn together as a family. Excite your own imagination. If you are interested in learning and seeking and doing, then your children will be too. Set a new goal: To be a learning family. Forget about ‘educating the kids’. Rather build a strong family focus and a loving environment. This is so important. The flow and interchange of information must occur in a nurturing context. The problem with schools as they exist today is that they are essentially loveless environments.

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• Listen to your children. You do not always have to know everything. You can let them lead the way without losing your God-given authority as a parent. If you equip them with confidence and the tools they need, they will surprise you with what they know and share. I was a beneficiary of my children’s knowledge and skill on multiple occasions.

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• Above  all, confront your fears and insecurities. Don’t let them govern your choices and your decisions. A learning lifestyle must be built on FAITH. Faith in God. Faith in yourself. Faith in your children. It is possible to educate in freedom. Don’t buy into a lie just because it is harder not to. Freedom is scary. It is natural to look for security and safety. But how? When we feel afraid there are two things we can do. We can trust more. Or we can begin to implement controls that will make us feel safe.  ​

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