top of page

Our Home Education Journey

​

Increasingly I see that home educating is so much more than 'equipping children for life'. We all begin somewhere, and this is a good starting point, but if that is all that happens, then we only scratch the surface of something so important. Important because of its capacity for deeper, more meaningful, and deeply purposeful living.We officially began educating our children at home in January 1993, and it was supposed to be a short term solution to an immediate problem, namely the fact that I did not have transport to get my three year old daughter to nursery school. That was 21 years ago, and I am so glad we made that choice and for the direction in which that choice led us. Home education has turned out to be much more than a way of schooling; it is a way of life, a family building and enhancing opportunity, and a key to self-knowledge and growth.

We started with a programme called Babies Bible Class and a second-hand Letterland teacher's guide - a gift from an English friend who had home-educated her own daughter, years before. Using these two, I developed a series of unit studies which we pursued with interest and enthusiasm. This alone was considered very radical. In the far off days when home education was still illegal for over 7’s in South Africa, no-one dared deviate from the National Curriculum. In fact, no-one even thought it was possible to do so – how could you teach without a prescribed scheme of work? But I felt, right from the beginning, that the curriculum should fit the child, not the other way around.

As the years went by, and more children were added into our family, we continued our eclectic mix of unit studies, covering topics as diverse as British History, King Arthur, Babies, Earthworms, Seaside Holiday, and Houses and Homes. I developed the units around specific interests of the children at any given time, and where possible, followed these up with outings, movies or books about the subject. A friend of mine used Konos, and I was much inspired by the ideas and ethos of this curriculum. The children were bright, eager, and willing. I have many special memories of these years.

For Maths we followed a South African programme called 'Maths at Work'. I found this curriculum exciting, as it allowed for individualized problem solving and independent thinking rather than teaching a specific method. And then the children also had various workbooks, and they received a small reward for each book completed.

 

Initially we had a lot of fun, but as time went on, motivation began to drop with the older girls, and schoolwork gradually became a battle, especially with my second daughter. She was one of those self-directed thinkers, a child who wanted to know what the point was of any given activity, and who was not interested in doing tasks just for the sake of doing them. Increasingly our schoolwork took up long and unpleasant hours, filled with strife and disappointment. We lost the joy in the learning, and I felt like the fire breathing dragon.

I'm a researcher and a problem-solver by nature, so I began to ask questions about our educational approach and methodology. I prayed, read the Scriptures, observed my own children and the children of friends, talked to teachers, parents and home educators, and read a lot of books on parenting and education.

At this time I came into contact with Martie Du Plessis , an educational consultant who was particularly interested in helping the people in home educating families to identify and understand their particular learning styles, and to consider the ways in which they interacted with and affected one another. A session spent with Martie was very enlightening, as we began to realise the obvious – that people, in their uniqueness, both gather and organise information in different ways. Thus a child who seemed oppositional, difficult, and downright disobedient quite possibly just had a different learning style to the parent.

In 2000 I read all six of Charlotte Mason’s insightful books. Her last book ‘Towards a Philosophy of Education’ gave me a lot to think about. It was directly because of her influence that we introduced a strong literature focus as the foundation for our learning. We had always enjoyed reading to the children; Craig and I both love books, but now we recognised that reading books was more than the activity – it was how one obtained food for the mind. Well written books were full of what Charlotte Mason called ‘living ideas’. It must be pointed out though, that she was particular about only reading excellent books to children; inferior books were dismissed as ‘twaddle’!

In 2001 we bought our first – and only – pre-packaged curriculum; Year 1 of Sonlight’s excellent literature based programme. We loved the books. However, we quickly dispensed with the curriculum guide, preferring to read the books at our own pace. There was only one problem – we finished reading the whole year’s books within a few months! I found myself motivating why we needed a larger educational budget, and it was at this time that I became friends with EBay, Sonlight catalogue in hand for inspiration!

Step by step our own individualised educational approach was developing.

While pregnant with my last child, I read John Holt’s books, one after the other. I was fortunate – most of them were out of print, but I had an aunt in America who relished the challenge of hunting for them for me. John Holt was a teacher, who gradually became disenchanted with the approach he saw in school. Initially endeavouring to introduce reform within the school system, he ended up becoming a pioneer of the home education. He wrote a book called ‘Teach Your Own’, in which he encouraged parents to do exactly that. Interestingly, he was also the person who coined the phrase ‘unschooling’ which initially meant ‘being educated outside of school’, but which has now come to mean a particular home education approach better known as autonomous education in the UK. But more about that just now...

All of the discoveries I was making about education now crystallised into one key word – respect. I recognised that many educational approaches were inherently disrespectful to learners. They presumed too much, elevated teachers to a status that was not real, and discounted previous knowledge and wisdom on the part of the learner.

Many methodologies erupted from an erroneous notion that the learner was an empty vessel waiting to be filled up by the all wise educator. But Charlotte Mason and John Holt saw things differently – for all their differences in approach, they were united in their view that the learner was not ‘less’ than the teacher.

Increasingly I became uneasy with a prescriptive, teacher directed approach to my children’s education.

Although I had designed a curriculum that was sensitive to my children’s interests, it was still a curriculum chosen by me. Like the adults around me, I had been led to believe that the children would not learn unless I made them learn. But John Holt said that learning was to humans what swimming was too fish – something they did naturally, unconsciously, and all the time.

In October 2001, I took the plunge – and a rather scary plunge it was too – into what I called ‘an unschooling experiment’. I wanted to see for myself what would happen if I allowed my children to direct their own learning. I thought by now that unschooling could work. But would it? I had by now gained enough confidence to try it out. So we put aside our unit studies and our workbooks, (but not our books. No-one wanted to give up read alouds!) I kept a journal, in which I recorded everything I saw the children doing. Within three weeks I wrote an elated email to my local home education list, in which I described all the things that were happening. As quickly as that, I was convinced: John Holt was right - learning is to humans what swimming is to fish.

This is what I wrote to the HE Kitchen Table Discussion List on 24 October 2001:

Hi All

So, I've made the leap across the chasm. Maybe that sounds melodramatic, but that is certainly how it feels right now......After much Internet research, prayer and reflection, we have decided to conduct an ''unschooling experiment''. We have the rest of this year available, and the idea is to try this approach, observe and record what we see, and make decisions for the future based upon the results. (The structure that we are currently using is not working as well as I hoped it would.) Buzz word of the day is ''freedom''. I feel that the Lord is leading us into greater freedom in our learning experience as a family. Freedom within the boundaries He has given so clearly in His word and in our hearts. I feel freshly challenged to relinquish control over my children; to be the authority in their lives by drawing and enforcing clear boundary lines, but giving them all the freedom there is to run and play and leap and gambol and enjoy the lovely green pasture within the boundaries. I have also felt freshly challenged, interestingly, to be very strict indeed about obedience. Thus, lots of freedom to choose, but when I do speak, obey instantly.So, what has happened so far?We had a ''family conference'' to discuss unschooling on 11 October, and the decision was made to unschool with immediate effect.I set out the basic day structure (one of the boundary lines) as follows:

7h30: Meet around the breakfast table, (dressed) for breakfast and devotions with Dad, followed by a planning session for the day.
10h30: Teatime and Read Alouds
13h30: Lunchtime
17h30: Tidy up and chores time, followed by baths
19h00 (approximately): Suppertime
20h30: Bedtime & independant reading
21h00: Lights out

Apart from this, anything goes...........

We are on Day 9 of the 'experiment'. I am the 'interested adult'; the one with more experience, which may be used or not used as desired; the facilitator; journeymate; fellow traveller. This is scary stuff, but fun! It is very demanding of me - I thought I was an involved parent before, but it was always my agenda, even if it was the child's interest. Now I am called upon to be available in a deeper way - when the child asks, to be there as much as is humanly possible. And I have been called upon, a lot! What is different is that I, instead of leading all of the ideas, am the one following most of the time. I do also make suggestions about what we should do, but am not insisting on them doing them if they are not interested. My role is more to observe what is happening, and to give a little push along the way if and when it is needed. It includes staying out of the way if I am not needed, and accepting a refusal of my offer of help.

To give you an idea, here is what I have observed being done so far:

Jonathan (age 6):
Built various models with Capsela
Conducted various experiments demonstrating Newton's 3rd law of Motion
Played with ballons
Played 'Risk' with Mom
Calculated how many more days to his birthday
Worked out the differences between sentences in the Past, Present and Future tenses
Experimented with opposite sentences (eg. ''I have a cat; I do not have a cat'' and ''I have a fridge; I have a stove''!)
 
Julie Anne (age 4) and Jonathan (age 6):
Read Alouds (books read to them at their request by Mom): 'Degas and the little dancer', discussion followed
Read Alouds: 'The Big Hungry Bear'Read Alouds: 'The Selfish Giant' (x2), much discussion followed
Made wrapping paper with stencils and spray paint
Made heart packets to keep Bible verses in, and talked about hiding God's words in our hearts and how this helps us to avoid sin
Had an outing to the Zoo

Jenni (age11) and Jonathan (age 6):Watercolour painting

Julie Anne (age 4):
Baked a real sponge cake for her Teddy Bear
Planned and executed a birthday party for her teddy bear (to which we were all invited)
Played with pipe cleaners
Played with her toys
Built puzzles
Painted with 'roll-on' paints'
Read' lots of books

Kerrin (age 9) and Jonathan (age 6):
Learned to Knit, ongoing practise

Jenni (age 11):
Learned to crochet, ongoing practise

Jenni (age 11) and Kerrin (age 9):
Planned a Club meeting and invited all the members of the Club
Memorising the Books of the Bible (in order)
Memorised 10 Commandments
Learned how to use and write e-mails
Read Alouds: Ourselves (C.Mason)

Kerrin (age 9):
Wrote e-mails to all her friends
Went horse-riding
Read lots of books to herself

Jenni (age 11), Kerrin (age 9) and Julie-Anne (age 4):
Baked Sabbath Bread

Jenni (age 11):
Baked banana bread
Baked cinnamon biscuits
Cooked supper (chicken and spinach pie, rice and squash)
Planned a work schedule for herself which includes Things she feels she should do, Things she wants to do, Extramurals and Extras (she is our structured child - the one I was concerned would not like the unschooling experiment!!!)

All:
Played with, enjoyed and helped with the care of baby Kate (3 months old)
Reading and discussion of Proverbs, 1 chapter every day
Reading Exodus chapter by chapter every day
Discussion  on 10 Commandments
Read Alouds: Pollyanna
Played on the Computer
Listened to 'The Magician's Nephew' on CD
Listened to 'The Secret Garden' on CD
Built 1000 piece puzzle
Celebrated Sabbath with traditional Sabbath meal and ceremony
Various shopping expeditions
Various household chores (extra chores due to Nomalady being away)
Various tidying, sorting and other 'spring-cleaning' tasks
Outing to a Quilting Exhibition (included a picnic)
Swimming, trampolining and other exercise 
Visited various friends; various friends visited
Baked biscuits for homeschooling camp
Cleaned hamster cages
Bathed and brushed dog
Homeschooling camp
Supper at Roadhouse
Spent lots of time together, chatting and enjoying each other's company 

Quite inspiring hey! And a definite illustration of the untruth of the notion that kids will do/learn nothing without being told to........ (bear in mind that most of these actions were initiated by the children themselves - I merely helped and facilitated as needed)
Will keep you informed
Blessings
Cathy

But what now? I found myself going through a bit of an identity crisis. I had loved being mom and teacher to my children. Now I felt redundant. What was my role in their lives? If I was not needed to ‘direct the traffic’, was I needed at all? Was a mother merely an incubator, chief cook and bottle washer? Why had God put me in the lives of my children? While my children revelled in their freedom, a season of uncomfortable soul-searching followed for me. God graciously provided answers as I sought Him. I reread some of Charlotte Mason’s writings. Read my Bible. Talked long hours with my husband. And then someone gave me a copy of Ted Tripp’s ‘Shepherding a Child’s Heart’. Clarity began to come. Craig and I were vitally important in our children’s lives. Although our children were in charge of their learning, we were still the shepherds and custodians of our children’s hearts. Nothing had changed; we were directly responsible to God for the children He had entrusted to us.

Reassured, we went on. At this time God gave me a picture of what unschooling could look like for Christians. I was reading Psalm 23, and I saw the children as lambs in a large, fertile pasture. Around the pasture was a strong and secure boundary fence. This fence would actually guarantee the safety and freedom of the pasture. The well being of the lambs was secured and defined by the boundary fence. This illustration was to be emphasised some years later while, on a trip to Yorkshire, I rounded a corner and narrowly missed a collision with a group of five mischievous lambs who had escaped through a hole in their pasture fence, and who were merrily playing in the road!

This picture, of a pasture with a boundary fence, illustrates the learning lifestyle. The sheep and lambs are together in the pasture. I am a sheep, following the Great Shepherd. However, I am also a shepherd, because I am responsible and accountable to the Great Shepherd for the well being and growth of my lambs.

The pasture is the place of freedom. It is the place where a person is free to be, to revel in the joy of living this life in God’s beautiful world. The place of choice. The place of doing what I want. The pasture is the richness of God’s world and the life He has invested in us.

The boundary fence is where the pasture ends. The fence is the principle and instruction of God’s Word. The place, for each of us, of obedience and submission to authority. The place of doing what I ought.

I saw Christian Unschooling as being like a balance scale – on the one side the freedom of the pasture, with all its delights and opportunities; on the other the acceptance of and submission to the boundary – which is the practise of Christian life defined by the Bible.

All freedom is limited, and as Christians, we clearly understand that we are under authority. We live in a society that is eager to throw off all restraint. We cannot do so. However, it is all too easy to deprive ourselves – and our children – of permitted freedoms because we are afraid of being found outside the boundary fence.

The pasture is the place of freedom, and within the pasture are myriad delights, the joys of discovery, and a rich experience of the world, which, in spite of all the damage caused by sin and its consequences, is still an amazing and beautiful place.

There is often confusion between these two aspects of the philosophy and methodology of Christian unschooling. Separating them out as pasture and boundary fence helps to bring some clarity to the matter. Too much emphasis on the one thing is detrimental to the other. We have to keep the two in balance.

Looking back, our home education has been a wonderful journey. Four of my children are now beyond compulsory education. I found that our educational philosophy evolved, and our methodology changed accordingly from year to year, and as the children developed. I tried out things that didn’t work, and found things that did. This process, of course, continues.

I found that curriculum content was not as important as relationship. Discipling my children was much more than teaching them a selection of facts. Rather, it was an intimate, honest and personal sharing of life, side by side. Giving and receiving. Charlotte Mason said that education was the science of relationships. As an adult, I had opportunity to bring my children into relationship with the different aspects of their world. This was key to a rich and fulfilling lifestyle, in spite of the challenges.

Looking back, I feel again the enthusiasm and the excitement of discovery as we embarked on unschooling. I also smile... there were so many structures, constraints and parameters in the early days. I was, after all, conducting an experiment... and I was not sure it would work. It was a scary time, as much as it was exhilarating. As time went on, I realized more and more how little we needed these parameters and structures. We were all quite safe. Increasingly we let go of rules and embraced principles for our living and learning.

Kate, our youngest child, was born at the beginning of this unschooling experiment. As a result, she is the child who has enjoyed unschooling as a lifestyle from the beginning. It fascinates me to see her strong sense of self, her direction and focus, her commitment and sense of responsibility, her joy and passion in being alive, and I do wonder how much unschooling has contributed to who she is. I am sure it is a lot....

 

Unschooling is...
learning what you want
when you want
how you want
the way you want
for as long as you want
for your own reasons...

bottom of page