Pursuing Passion
We began home educating way back in a South Africa where it was illegal for children not to go to school. God had spoken clearly to our hearts about home education, so it was a great relief when the government made a decision to legalise home education in 1994. From that time on, we followed an eclectic, delight-directed mix of curricula. We had a lot of fun and the children enjoyed their learning experiences. All seemed well with our gentle, teacher-led approach to education – except for one small problem; an increasing resistance on the part of my second daughter to doing Maths, in fact to doing anything that was workbook or textbook related. Over a period of six months, this problem escalated to the point where our relationship was being affected. And increasingly this precious daughter was withdrawing from us. I did not know what to do and I was desperately asking God for wisdom.Then two things happened:· A good friend, Martie Du Plessis, who also happens to be an educational consultant, did a learning styles assessment with all the members of our family, and we gained a lot of insight into the particular learning styles and needs of each of our children – and accepted that those styles and needs were as different and unique as each member of our family was. This helped me to see that, just because I thought something was a good idea, it was not necessarily a good idea for the other person. I am a strong leader, and this insight has helped me so much in guiding gently, sensitively, and with grace.
· I discovered the writings of that very wonderful person, John Caldwell Holt, and in the course of a year I read all ten his books. This resulted in a major paradigm shift and towards the end of that year I took the plunge, informing the children that from now on, I would not tell them what they had to learn, but would facilitate and support their own discoveries and learning desires. That their education would no longer be teacher-led, but learner –directed.
This precipitated us into a wonderful journey of discovery, and into a lifestyle that we still enjoy,
When I put away all the outsider opinions about what we – as a family and as individuals - needed to learn and know, and how and when and why, we were released to discover what our own hearts were saying about what we needed to learn and know. This became true for each of us, from Craig and myself, all the way down to the youngest of our children, Kate, who at that time was just a tiny baby. She, of all our family, has the joy of being able to say that she was truly unschooled from birth.
You know, it is rather scary at first, when you stop listening to people! We live in a society of experts. Sadly, we have been trained not to listen to the quiet voice inside, the voice that says ‘Hey, this is what I love, this is what I need, this is what I want...’ It takes time to hear again... and to trust the hearing.
This was the first of our discoveries; how to listen. Over and over I have seen that the first steps towards ownership of learning are internal. As a result, the person may look very passive for a while, and the delightful and adventurous discoveries one dreamed would occur when the restraints were removed do not immediately materialise. This is a testing time for everyone, but a time worth the walking... and the waiting.
The second discovery was how to respond to the voice of the heart. Some things were just not possible. For example, no matter how much my small son wanted to drive a big work machine (‘moshine’ as he called it), that was not going to happen anytime soon! And obviously, when the children were small, it was less likely that they could help themselves to do the things they loved without assistance. My role shifted from that of teacher to that of facilitator, helper, fellow adventurer. And as they were released to discover what they loved, I too was released in the same way.
I will give you one very important example. In order to do so, I will backtrack a little bit....
I had had a lifelong passion for horses. A passion that had not been fulfilled, and that I had sadly tucked away in a deep and secret part of myself. Only my husband knew of those painful longings, those sentences that began: ‘If only....’
· I discovered the writings of that very wonderful person, John Caldwell Holt, and in the course of a year I read all ten his books. This resulted in a major paradigm shift and towards the end of that year I took the plunge, informing the children that from now on, I would not tell them what they had to learn, but would facilitate and support their own discoveries and learning desires. That their education would no longer be teacher-led, but learner –directed.
This precipitated us into a wonderful journey of discovery, and into a lifestyle that we still enjoy,
When I put away all the outsider opinions about what we – as a family and as individuals - needed to learn and know, and how and when and why, we were released to discover what our own hearts were saying about what we needed to learn and know. This became true for each of us, from Craig and myself, all the way down to the youngest of our children, Kate, who at that time was just a tiny baby. She, of all our family, has the joy of being able to say that she was truly unschooled from birth.
You know, it is rather scary at first, when you stop listening to people! We live in a society of experts. Sadly, we have been trained not to listen to the quiet voice inside, the voice that says ‘Hey, this is what I love, this is what I need, this is what I want...’ It takes time to hear again... and to trust the hearing.
This was the first of our discoveries; how to listen. Over and over I have seen that the first steps towards ownership of learning are internal. As a result, the person may look very passive for a while, and the delightful and adventurous discoveries one dreamed would occur when the restraints were removed do not immediately materialise. This is a testing time for everyone, but a time worth the walking... and the waiting.
The second discovery was how to respond to the voice of the heart. Some things were just not possible. For example, no matter how much my small son wanted to drive a big work machine (‘moshine’ as he called it), that was not going to happen anytime soon! And obviously, when the children were small, it was less likely that they could help themselves to do the things they loved without assistance. My role shifted from that of teacher to that of facilitator, helper, fellow adventurer. And as they were released to discover what they loved, I too was released in the same way.
I will give you one very important example. In order to do so, I will backtrack a little bit....
I had had a lifelong passion for horses. A passion that had not been fulfilled, and that I had sadly tucked away in a deep and secret part of myself. Only my husband knew of those painful longings, those sentences that began: ‘If only....’
But almost every day, busy mum of little people that I was, I would drive past a riding school near our home – and every time I would look with envy at those lucky children on those horses. Eventually my husband gave me the little shove that was needed. “If you want it so badly...”, he said, “...why don’t you stop grieving over what didn’t happen and do something about it now?” Strangely, this idea had not even entered my mind! It was surprising to think that I could! So, after a week or two of gathering up my courage, I took myself down to the riding school and asked them to teach me. And in this way began the activity that was to become a key component of our shared lives.
Within a year my second daughter Kerrin also began learning to ride. And a couple of years after that I acquired my first horse, the very beautiful, dreams-come-true Thoroughbred named Histor. At the same time we bought the elderly mare named Queen who had taught me to ride at the riding school, and a small Section A Welsh pony called Candy, so that the rest of the family could enjoy horsy activities too. Later that year Candy gave birth to a minute brown filly, and we named her Tiffany. Because we were worried about the safety of such a tiny foal in our herd, Candy and her baby came to live in the garden, so my small children and Tiffany enjoyed a few months of playing together. I am sure Tiffany thought they were foals too! This was a very special season.
When we moved to England in 2005, we discovered British Native ponies, and in 2006 we first heard of the USA’s Parelli Natural Horsemanship (PNH). Pat and Linda Parelli came to the UK to do demonstrations in 2007, and we were completely inspired at the degree of connection and partnering that was possible between human and horse. Within a couple of months my daughter Kerrin (who was then 15) and I signed up to do the first level of PNH’s home study course. The next year the two younger girls, then 10 and 7 also began PNH Level 1. And we have never stopped learning. Horsemanship has become an absolute passion for the four of us, and we have spent so many happy hours with our ponies. It has been lovely to learn and discover together. The rest of the family, while not actively involved with horses, has probably gathered more knowledge about horse psychology than the average horse-lover! It was rather amusing the other day to overhear my non-horsy son explaining in clear and accurate detail, the Seven Games of Parelli Natural Horsemanship to a friend.
Within a year my second daughter Kerrin also began learning to ride. And a couple of years after that I acquired my first horse, the very beautiful, dreams-come-true Thoroughbred named Histor. At the same time we bought the elderly mare named Queen who had taught me to ride at the riding school, and a small Section A Welsh pony called Candy, so that the rest of the family could enjoy horsy activities too. Later that year Candy gave birth to a minute brown filly, and we named her Tiffany. Because we were worried about the safety of such a tiny foal in our herd, Candy and her baby came to live in the garden, so my small children and Tiffany enjoyed a few months of playing together. I am sure Tiffany thought they were foals too! This was a very special season.
When we moved to England in 2005, we discovered British Native ponies, and in 2006 we first heard of the USA’s Parelli Natural Horsemanship (PNH). Pat and Linda Parelli came to the UK to do demonstrations in 2007, and we were completely inspired at the degree of connection and partnering that was possible between human and horse. Within a couple of months my daughter Kerrin (who was then 15) and I signed up to do the first level of PNH’s home study course. The next year the two younger girls, then 10 and 7 also began PNH Level 1. And we have never stopped learning. Horsemanship has become an absolute passion for the four of us, and we have spent so many happy hours with our ponies. It has been lovely to learn and discover together. The rest of the family, while not actively involved with horses, has probably gathered more knowledge about horse psychology than the average horse-lover! It was rather amusing the other day to overhear my non-horsy son explaining in clear and accurate detail, the Seven Games of Parelli Natural Horsemanship to a friend.
Two years ago I went to listen to a talk by someone named Ingela Larsson Smith. She was amazing, and her horsemanship demonstration was even better. It was so interesting to hear about horsemanship in the context of relationship with God. We had already noted the obvious parallels between our own relationship with the horse and God’s relationship with us. There are tremendous lessons there. Ingela’s perspectives clarified and enhanced this developing understanding. In addition, I had noted how similar natural horsemanship was to unschooling with its foundational ethos of respecting the individuality and dignity of the horse - and how much traditional horse schooling methods were like what was being done to children in schools. And I had been thrilled to hear Pat Parelli promoting home education in his demonstrations (his own children had been home educated).
Since then we have done a number of horsemanship courses with Ingela. The girls were given permission to take photographs (they are keen photographers, but that is another story) and the course participants bought them which is how the girls raised the money they needed to go to Brazil.
Brazil? Where does that come into the story? Well, alongside all these horsemanship discoveries, we were also learning about how being with horses heals and restores people, and about how horses help people understand themselves, and about how horses help people develop healthier relationships. Increasingly this is an emphasis we are interested in incorporating into our horsy activities. As a result the girls and I ran a 3- day ‘Pony Interaction’ course for home educated children with communication or learning difficulties of one sort or another, and it was a great success. And we now have an assortment of children who come to Longfields to spend time with our ponies. Which led to Julie and Me deciding to do Instructor Training with Lynn Henry and Think Like A Pony, and also with Horse Agility, so it looks like there will be more opportunity to continue doing this in the future. We love teaching children. And I dream of working with horses to help children with significant trauma and abuse issues. Maybe even in Cambodia.
Since then we have done a number of horsemanship courses with Ingela. The girls were given permission to take photographs (they are keen photographers, but that is another story) and the course participants bought them which is how the girls raised the money they needed to go to Brazil.
Brazil? Where does that come into the story? Well, alongside all these horsemanship discoveries, we were also learning about how being with horses heals and restores people, and about how horses help people understand themselves, and about how horses help people develop healthier relationships. Increasingly this is an emphasis we are interested in incorporating into our horsy activities. As a result the girls and I ran a 3- day ‘Pony Interaction’ course for home educated children with communication or learning difficulties of one sort or another, and it was a great success. And we now have an assortment of children who come to Longfields to spend time with our ponies. Which led to Julie and Me deciding to do Instructor Training with Lynn Henry and Think Like A Pony, and also with Horse Agility, so it looks like there will be more opportunity to continue doing this in the future. We love teaching children. And I dream of working with horses to help children with significant trauma and abuse issues. Maybe even in Cambodia.
Ingela and her husband Richard Larsson Smith run a ministry called Horses for Orphans. The first phase of the project began at an orphanage just outside Brasilia. There is a short video clip about the first phase of the project here: Horses for Orphans, Brazil. Last year Horses for Orphans bought a farm, hopefully the first of many, so now the project has a permanent home in Brazil. The long term objective is for there to be similar projects in India, China and elsewhere.
We got involved, long distance, with the Brazil project, helping to edit the Horsemanship handbook, and designing Journals for the children in which to record their learning. Julie Anne and Kate did most of the art work for these Journals. We also printed photos of the children and began to pray for them by name. This was a special thing to do, as it made us feel part of their lives even though they were far away. In October 2012 the three of us went to Brazil, where we met all 'our' children and enjoyed teaching horsemanship and sharing life with them for a few weeks. It was an amazing experience, and one that we hope to be able to repeat.
So it has been very interesting to see how a passion shared has become a directional force, and something that has added value to our lives in more ways than is possible to describe. It all began with listening, hearing and then acting on what was heard. It is funny how so many people wonder what the value is in doing a thing ‘just’ because you like it. There is really no way of knowing where it could lead. In this story of horses, of pursuing a passion, at least one daughter, and possibly all three, have found a career path out of it. My ‘wounded child’ heart has been healed. We have found a meaningful way of sharing our lives with other people. And along the way it has brought us more satisfaction, insight and personal fulfilment that we can possible describe.
My missions blog, which shares more about our experiences helping with projects in Brazil and Cambodia can be read at Extreme Operations.
We got involved, long distance, with the Brazil project, helping to edit the Horsemanship handbook, and designing Journals for the children in which to record their learning. Julie Anne and Kate did most of the art work for these Journals. We also printed photos of the children and began to pray for them by name. This was a special thing to do, as it made us feel part of their lives even though they were far away. In October 2012 the three of us went to Brazil, where we met all 'our' children and enjoyed teaching horsemanship and sharing life with them for a few weeks. It was an amazing experience, and one that we hope to be able to repeat.
So it has been very interesting to see how a passion shared has become a directional force, and something that has added value to our lives in more ways than is possible to describe. It all began with listening, hearing and then acting on what was heard. It is funny how so many people wonder what the value is in doing a thing ‘just’ because you like it. There is really no way of knowing where it could lead. In this story of horses, of pursuing a passion, at least one daughter, and possibly all three, have found a career path out of it. My ‘wounded child’ heart has been healed. We have found a meaningful way of sharing our lives with other people. And along the way it has brought us more satisfaction, insight and personal fulfilment that we can possible describe.
My missions blog, which shares more about our experiences helping with projects in Brazil and Cambodia can be read at Extreme Operations.
