A Lifestyle of Learning
When Craig and I resolved to unschool our children, we did so because we had become convinced of learning as a lifestyle, something that was natural, spontaneous, and ongoing, something that did not depend on teaching and outside intervention.
But exactly was a ‘learning lifestyle’? How could we make sure it was happening? Were there certain signs of it? Certain identifying characteristics? Were there things we could do that would facilitate and enhance it? And, horrid thought, could we hinder and even block it? Could we make our children so passive that they would become immune to its charms?
We came to certain conclusions, and some rather helpful questions arose out of those conclusions.
It didn’t take long to see that formalized education would get in the way of natural learning. The child’s attention, once forcibly focused on that which does not interest him, can rather obviously not remain focused on what is of interest to him. And with time, he could lose sight of what it was that he found interesting. So how could we identify interest and be sensitive to it and support our child’s explorations and investigations?
But exactly was a ‘learning lifestyle’? How could we make sure it was happening? Were there certain signs of it? Certain identifying characteristics? Were there things we could do that would facilitate and enhance it? And, horrid thought, could we hinder and even block it? Could we make our children so passive that they would become immune to its charms?
We came to certain conclusions, and some rather helpful questions arose out of those conclusions.
It didn’t take long to see that formalized education would get in the way of natural learning. The child’s attention, once forcibly focused on that which does not interest him, can rather obviously not remain focused on what is of interest to him. And with time, he could lose sight of what it was that he found interesting. So how could we identify interest and be sensitive to it and support our child’s explorations and investigations?
The ‘back-to-basics’ educational movement of the 80’s tried to identify and implement a body of knowledge that would be universally relevant. Schools are still trying to identify and implement this idea. And meanwhile life happens all around us, and the children were learning, are learning, about it. My children showed that this was true – they were full of interest, enthusiasm and joy. How could we ensure that things we wanted them to know were learned? (As time went on we were reassured to see that the things we considered important were learned just as naturally and spontaneously as other things.)
We saw that the learning lifestyle is unique and specific to each person and to each family. This is an obvious point when one thinks about it. Learning has to incorporate fresh and living thought. It can’t be copied. Like the elusive state of being that we call ‘happiness’, it can’t be confined or boxed or bought. One knows when it is there, and one knows when one has lost it. This is why a rigidly applied external curriculum can’t lead to life. Life comes from living ideas. When you try to take life and strip it down to a few essentials, you lose its essence. So what then were the characteristics of our particular family? Who were we? What did we like to do? And each child? Who was this child? What were our goals?
A learning lifestyle is dynamic. Its focus changes from day to day, week to week, year to year. Today’s priorities will not be tomorrow’s. It has life and energy of its own. We were challenged to be flexible and responsive to our world.
A learning lifestyle is centred in the environment of the learner. It is family and community based. When you determine to live a learning lifestyle, you facilitate the opening up of your children’s lives to their world and the opening up of the world to their lives. What was in our environment and surroundings? What could we learn today? We were challenged to open our eyes and SEE. It is so easy to see oneself as limited; one’s life as restricted. To say ‘If only we had such and such, then we could learn....’ But what do you have in your hand right now? You think you are limited because you have limited resources, little money, no space, no education, no qualifications? Too many children, too few children? Learning happens – everywhere, anywhere. We learned never to underestimate what we had.
Out of this came a strong desire to encourage others to trust in the nature of learning.
We saw that the learning lifestyle is unique and specific to each person and to each family. This is an obvious point when one thinks about it. Learning has to incorporate fresh and living thought. It can’t be copied. Like the elusive state of being that we call ‘happiness’, it can’t be confined or boxed or bought. One knows when it is there, and one knows when one has lost it. This is why a rigidly applied external curriculum can’t lead to life. Life comes from living ideas. When you try to take life and strip it down to a few essentials, you lose its essence. So what then were the characteristics of our particular family? Who were we? What did we like to do? And each child? Who was this child? What were our goals?
A learning lifestyle is dynamic. Its focus changes from day to day, week to week, year to year. Today’s priorities will not be tomorrow’s. It has life and energy of its own. We were challenged to be flexible and responsive to our world.
A learning lifestyle is centred in the environment of the learner. It is family and community based. When you determine to live a learning lifestyle, you facilitate the opening up of your children’s lives to their world and the opening up of the world to their lives. What was in our environment and surroundings? What could we learn today? We were challenged to open our eyes and SEE. It is so easy to see oneself as limited; one’s life as restricted. To say ‘If only we had such and such, then we could learn....’ But what do you have in your hand right now? You think you are limited because you have limited resources, little money, no space, no education, no qualifications? Too many children, too few children? Learning happens – everywhere, anywhere. We learned never to underestimate what we had.
Out of this came a strong desire to encourage others to trust in the nature of learning.
These are the things we saw as foundational:
First, ask questions. Don't just follow what others are doing. Who are you and what is important to you? What are your goals with your children? With your family? There is not a whole lot of time. One might think that it will be like this forever. But it won’t. What seems like such a long time is actually so short. Within a short space of time our children will be parents themselves. Don’t waste these precious years. Set a goal to live a learning lifestyle and realize it.
Figure out how you can best learn together as a family. Set a new goal: To be a learning family. Forget about ‘educating the kids’. Rather build a strong family focus and a loving environment. This is so important. The flow and interchange of information must occur in a nurturing context. The problem with schools as they exist today is that they are essentially loveless environments.
Excite your own imagination. If you are interested in learning and seeking and doing, then your children will be too. Find things that you can do together. Share your lives. Why else have you been given this strong sweet season?
A learning lifestyle must be built on FAITH. Faith in God. Faith in yourself. Faith in your children.
We have to confront our fears and insecurities. It is possible to homeschool in freedom. Don’t buy into a lie just because it is harder not to. If indeed God has placed in your heart the desire to educate your children at home, then it is your responsibility to do so. You find out why. You find out how. And then you need to be free to do what you find out.
Freedom is scary. Our desire is to find security and safety. When we feel afraid there are two things we can do. We can trust more. Or we can begin to implement controls that will make us feel safe.
First, ask questions. Don't just follow what others are doing. Who are you and what is important to you? What are your goals with your children? With your family? There is not a whole lot of time. One might think that it will be like this forever. But it won’t. What seems like such a long time is actually so short. Within a short space of time our children will be parents themselves. Don’t waste these precious years. Set a goal to live a learning lifestyle and realize it.
Figure out how you can best learn together as a family. Set a new goal: To be a learning family. Forget about ‘educating the kids’. Rather build a strong family focus and a loving environment. This is so important. The flow and interchange of information must occur in a nurturing context. The problem with schools as they exist today is that they are essentially loveless environments.
Excite your own imagination. If you are interested in learning and seeking and doing, then your children will be too. Find things that you can do together. Share your lives. Why else have you been given this strong sweet season?
A learning lifestyle must be built on FAITH. Faith in God. Faith in yourself. Faith in your children.
We have to confront our fears and insecurities. It is possible to homeschool in freedom. Don’t buy into a lie just because it is harder not to. If indeed God has placed in your heart the desire to educate your children at home, then it is your responsibility to do so. You find out why. You find out how. And then you need to be free to do what you find out.
Freedom is scary. Our desire is to find security and safety. When we feel afraid there are two things we can do. We can trust more. Or we can begin to implement controls that will make us feel safe.
Chart 1: Responses to Fear
The lie says: If I have systems, boundaries, rules and external controls, then I will know:
- exactly what to do (behaviour)
- where my kids stand in relation to others (comparison) - what we have to do to gauge whether we are doing better or worse than we are supposed to do (value & worth)
The lie frees me from the awful responsibility of having to figure things out for myself. There is someone else to blame if it doesn’t work. But the price is so high. It also means that I will not be an individual. I will not seek out my own unique purpose, identity, interests and destiny. And as a parent I will constantly be under pressure; because there will always be something more that I should be doing; some outside standard that I am not meeting in raising my children. And my children will experience the pressure of needing to conform at a time when they should be discovering their uniqueness.
You never get free from fear by giving in to it. There is actually only one outside standard – the standard of God. When I let go of my controls and allow my children and my family freedom, we are enabled to seek out God’s unique purpose for our unique lives.
- exactly what to do (behaviour)
- where my kids stand in relation to others (comparison) - what we have to do to gauge whether we are doing better or worse than we are supposed to do (value & worth)
The lie frees me from the awful responsibility of having to figure things out for myself. There is someone else to blame if it doesn’t work. But the price is so high. It also means that I will not be an individual. I will not seek out my own unique purpose, identity, interests and destiny. And as a parent I will constantly be under pressure; because there will always be something more that I should be doing; some outside standard that I am not meeting in raising my children. And my children will experience the pressure of needing to conform at a time when they should be discovering their uniqueness.
You never get free from fear by giving in to it. There is actually only one outside standard – the standard of God. When I let go of my controls and allow my children and my family freedom, we are enabled to seek out God’s unique purpose for our unique lives.